Lisa Manning

Thesis Statement

Identify the weak thesis statement:

1. a. I’m going to write about Darwin’s concerns with evolution in The Origin of the Species.

This is weak because it states what it’s going to talk about. Instead, it should have a sentence about one main concern and then support it through quotes.

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2 a. Darwin’s concern with survival of the fittest in The Origin of the Species leads him to neglect a potentially conflicting aspect of his theory of evolution-survival as a matter of interdependence.

b. An important part of one’s college education is learning to better understand others’ points of view.

This sentence is the weakest because it isn’t clear. It is confusing; Although, it is argumentative. It seems that it is an opinion of the writer.

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2. a. Although an important part of one’s college education is learning to better understand others’ points of view a persistent danger is that the students will simply be required to substitute the teacher’s answers for the ones they grew up uncritically believing.

This sentence is the weaker of the two because it is a run-on sentence. It isn’t clear of what the writer is trying to make a point of.

b. By inventing terms, such as “loose fit” and “relaxed fit”, the jean industry has attempted to normalize, even glorify, its product for an older and fatter generation.

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a. The jeans industry targets its advertisements to appeal to young adults.

b. Othello is a play about love and jealousy.

This sentence is the weaker one of the two because it tells WHAT the play is about. It isn’t argumentative and it just gives the answer of what the plot is about.

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3. a. Although Othello appears to attack jealousy, it also supports the skepticism of the jealous characters over the naïvete of the lovers.

b. The songs of the punk rock group Minor Threat relate to the Feelings of individuals who dare to be different. Their songs are just composed of pure emotion. Pure emotion is very important in music, because it serves as a vehicle to convey the important message of individuality. Minor Threat’s songs are meaningful to me because I can identify with them.

This one is the weaker one because it has a lot of topics that COULD be the thesis but isn’t clearly stated. Why is the emotional music important to her?

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5. a. The punk rock group Minor Threat uses emotional lyrics to appeal to their target audience, which considers itself individualistic and therefore the lyrics must convey a message of individuality.

Thesis Statement

The black market, today in our standards, sell and trade anything from gorilla hands, children, and off the market medications. In, Margret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale, there is mention of the black market. Could the black market bring Offred freedom?

“The cigarettes must have come from the black market, I thought, this gave me hope” (Atwood 14). This gave her something to look forward too; a way out. I think the black market is a way for her to get her freedom; to live her life that she remembers as normal. A trade “even if there is no real money anymore” (Atwood 14) for her freedom for a story of her triumph from her oppressor.

I think this is a great thesis statement because it could be argued that there isn’t really a black market. She just mentioned this without evidence of her own. She remembers there was something called a “black market”. I feel this is specific because it pulls one detail that is mentioned a few times in the book. I do have support from the book as mentioned above.

Work Cited

Atwood, Margaret. The Handmaid's Tale. New York: Anchor Books, 1998.